Failure to live Old
by HazzaTL3
Summary: Since Zack loves play pranks on people, he decides being dead is boring so starts pulling pranks on Cloud and his friends. Will the pranks cause Cloud to become more social? Told from Clouds PoV. eventual Cloti. Rated as T due to some minor adult situations. ** Aug 1st.. First 2 chapters in the hands of an amazing beta will be reuploaded soon **
1. Chapter 1 edited

Failure to live.

Since everyone loves to see our heroic Chocobo suffering, let's place Cloud into some situations and see how he'll react.

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As I was riding back to the bar after a long day delivering to Kalm and Junon. I saw someone had hung a poster announcing I was to be married to Yuffie on the side door through which I push Fenrir into the storeroom of the bar. I take a closer look at the poster thinking, 'Yuffie, I'm going to kill you for this.' I just hope Tifa hasn't seen this. I can't imagine how she must be feeling if she has.

Upon taking the poster down I saw another smaller poster hidden underneath stating, 'Zack was here'. I just shake my head forgiving Yuffie immediately and uttering, "I should've known." I then open the double doors and push Fenrir inside.

"Cloud, is it true?" Tifa asked as I walk into the bar area to find that she had just finished cleaning up. She puts the broom away and we head upstairs to the living area.

"Cloud, is it true about you and Yuffie? Is that why you are away so often? Do you think so little of me that you don't even tell me?" She asks not letting me speak and then she slaps me harshly in the face. "I don't know what to make of this Cloud, I'm conflicted here." She sits on the sofa and tears start streaming down her cheeks.

I stare at her. "Tifa, I am not marrying Yuffie. It's a practical joke."

She looks up at me wiping the tears from her eyes. "Really Cloud?"

"Yes. I think she's a beautiful girl, but she's too flaky. My friend Zack put up the poster. Back in ShinRa he was always pulling pranks on people. Here he left his calling card. See?" I hand her the 'Zack was here' poster.

She takes the poster, her anger starting to well. "Cloud, do you expect me to believe some dead guy put up that poster? I am really getting fed up of telling you this, Zack... is... dead... He died years ago. You need to move on with your life. You are doing a better job at it now I admit that, but it seems you still have not let go." Her anger starts subsiding with that rant.

"I know Tifa but that doesn't stop him coming back from the lifestream to pull pranks on me."

"Cloud, people don't come back from the dead just to pull pranks on other people." She gets up yawning. "Get to bed. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Zack would," I whisper in exasperation once out of her earshot while heading to my room.

I walk into my room and close the door behind me. "Hi Cloud." I hear a familiar voice from by the window. I sigh ignoring the voice and walk over to my desk to check the phone for messages. "Cloud? Talk to me buddy." Sighing again, I bring my hands up to my head massaging my temples and count to three before turning to face Zack. He's standing there in nothing but his underwear. "So, how're you doing buddy?" I just glare at him angrily. I'm in no mood to speak to him right now especially after the poster and that conversation with Tifa about it; all I wanted was to get some sleep.

"Can't you just stay in the lifestream?" I shout at him.

"But... being dead is boring..." I walk toward him. He smiles fading away as I try to grab him.

I was now wide awake so decide to go downstairs to have a quick drink in the bar. I mean Tifa won't mind if I take just 1 or 2 beers...? I find it helps me calm down.

I had only intended to have just the two beers, but that turned into three, then into four. Then eventually after the tenth and an entire bottle of Vodka, I was stumbling out of the toilet feeling better after being sick. "Cloud Strife!" I look up seeing Tifa standing there. I wonder what she is doing down here, I thought by now she would be asleep. "What are you doing down here?" her tone radiating anger and I now realise she is upset with me again.

"Hi Teef, couldn't sleep so I'm just having a beer to help me unwind," I slur staggering towards her. Stopping to lean against a table casually, I notice as well as her dressing gown she was wearing her fighting gloves too. I must have woken her up I realise. I put on my hurt puppy eyes and raise my face slowly to make eye contact with her. It didn't work; she is fuming at me... so I attempt to resume my walk towards the stairs to get to bed. However, at that moment my legs decide to become uncooperative causing me to fall over straight into the table.

She rushes over to help me up from the wreckage of the table then shoves me in the direction of the stairs. "Get upstairs NOW! I cleaned up this bar already so I could lay-in tomorrow, just look at this mess..." Somehow I manage to make it upstairs and into my room without falling over again. I attempt to get undressed for bed but am unable to get my boots off. I swear in drunken frustration as I fall over missing the bed. The door opens and Tifa storms in. "Will you be quiet in here Cloud. I am trying to sleep." Seeing I was struggling to get undressed, she reluctantly helps me by sitting me on my bed and removing my boots. After tucking me into bed, she leaves my room. I lay there and close my eyes, as I do the room starts spinning so I open them again and turn to my side. Eventually sleep came.

I abruptly wake up in shock I was soaked. I glance up to find Tifa standing over me holding an empty jug in her hands, eyes staring right at me. I look at my clock. "Tifa, its only 8am and I have no deliveries today; let me sleep," I grumble realising I was wet because she had just thrown water over my head to wake me.

"Cloud Strife, I want you to march down those stairs and clean up that mess you left in the bar last night." I groggily get up realisation dawning on me as to why my entire head was pounding. She leaves my room, shortly after I hear her bedroom door slamming shut. I quickly dress and head down to clean up the bar.

As I walk into the bar my eyes widen, it looked like there had been a brawl in here with a couple of smashed tables and broken glass all over the floor. 'Damn, did I cause all this mess?' I think to myself then head for the cleaning cupboard grabbing a dustpan and broom, then start clearing up the broken glass.

After spending just over an hour sweeping, I go to the stairs and call up to ask Tifa what she wanted me to do with the damaged tables. "If they can't be repaired then break them up for the wood burner," she calls in response, obviously still angry with me. I return to the bar area and begin inspecting the tables I had shamefully destroyed in my drunken stupor. I drag them into the storeroom where I start breaking them down placing the salvageable wood to one side and the unsalvageable wood onto the firewood pile. I look at the pile of salvageable and note that there is enough to make a new table.

I return to my room and check my PHS finding several missed calls from Yuffie and an accompanying voice message. I play back the message. "Cloud, when were you in Wutai and why did you put a poster in Turtles Paradise advertising our engagement? If you want to marry me then at least ask me out on a date first; I'm just by Kalm, I'll be in Edge by noon."

I sit on my bed holding my head, the headache finally starting to subside. I think to myself, 'Zack, I hope this is making it enjoyable in the lifestream for you.'

"Cloud. Breakfast's ready," I hear Tifa calling from the living room. I grab my PHS, place it in my pocket, and go to eat breakfast with her. I am not looking forward to today. I wish I had some deliveries to do so I could get away for the rest of the day, maybe stay overnight in Costa at the Avalanche Villa.

I sat in silence at the dining table with Tifa while she stared at me, '_is she still angry with me? How do I make up for this?_' I wonder to myself. After we finish eating, she glances at the clock. "10:45 already? I better go make sure the bar is clean and ready for me to open at 11." I decide to follow her just in case I had missed anything.

After a quick inspection, she turned to me smiling. "I'm impressed, the bar looks spotless. Shame we're a couple tables down. I will contact Reeve later to see if the WRO have any spare we can have."

"Actually we only need the one. I managed to salvage enough good wood from them to make a new one. I'll just go start on it now..." I inform her. I turn to head for the storeroom but stop when I feel her hand on my arm.

"Good idea Cloud, no need to waste resources." She slides her hand down my arm and into my hand. "Tell me how come you got so drunk last night."

I sigh shaking my head. "I really don't know, Tifa. Between the really long day, that poster, and our discussion, I guess it pushed me over the edge." I didn't mention about Zack in his underwear as it would only make her rant at me again about his being dead and how I need to move on.

"Cloud, I'm sorry for snapping at you. It's just that you can be a frustrating person to live with sometimes."

"I am sorry Tifa." Just then, a knock was heard from the main bar door.

She looked at the clock behind the bar and then turned back to me. "Cloud we shall talk about this later. Right now I have to go open up." She went to the main door to allow the customers entry so I head to the storeroom to start building the table.

I finish sorting the wood and was about to start nailing it together when the door to the storeroom opens and I hear, "Cloud you got a visitor. Your 'fiancée' is here." I recognize the sarcasm in Tifas voice, but I just nod at her and get up feeling confused. 'My fiancée?' I wipe my hands on a cloth and walk into the bar. Sitting at the bar was Yuffie. I stand there looking at her; I had forgotten she was coming.

"Hey Yuffie," I call over to her.

She turns around to face me. "Cloud, can we chat?" Tifa dismisses the last of the morning customers and closes the bar. Yuffie takes a poster out of her backpack and places it down on a nearby table. Tifa looks at it, I don't need to; I already knew it was one of the ones Zack had put up announcing 'our engagement'. "So Cloud, want to explain the poster?" The girls both stare at me waiting for an answer.

"Yuffie, as I tried to explain to Tifa last night, it's a prank pulled by Zack." I start explaining but get interupted.

"Cloud, for the final time... Zack is dead. Why can't you move on with your life and forgive yourself?" I am fed up with Tifa telling me that. Does she not understand I am trying to? At that, there was a knock on the door. Tifa looks over towards the door stating, "We're closed."

"What do you mean your f***ing closed? That closed just to the general public or does that include your friends too," Cid yells in response. Tifa gets up to let him in. Vincent follows behind him. They both look at the poster on the table; Yuffie smiles at me mischievously and stands next to me slipping her hand into mine. Vincent looks at us then places another poster on the table.

As he does Yuffie grabs me and plants a kiss on my lips. After my initial shock I return the kiss, sliding my arms around her. During the kiss, I feel her hands squeeze my ass, so I return the favour finding hers to be firm. "It's true then," Vincent said watching us making out.

After the kiss, Yuffie smiles at me, then turns to them and giggles sticking her tongue out. "What do you think..?" she tells them. I just stand there dumbfounded thinking to myself, 'Oh man, what have you started here Zack?' So I walk away heading to the storeroom. I look at Fenrir and decide to go for a ride to get away from everyone for a while.

I was angry. All my friends believed I was getting married to Yuffie. My mind started wandering through my actions of the day, initially of Yuffie, specifically if I should have played along the way I had. It was a natural reaction; I had not thought, I just reacted on impulse to her prompt. I was thinking about how she had grown into an attractive young lady but I hadn't meant to lead her on, she was still a little too immature most of the time. My making out with her had only made the fallout over Zack's prank worse.

I then thought about Tifa, how would she react? I sigh thinking about my feelings for her which recently I had started to realise were more than just of friendship. Should I tell her how I felt, was I ready for a relationship with her? Would it be fair on her? Had my leaving to search for a cure for Geostigma, and shutting myself off from the world hurt her too much? I realise now that was a mistake. Would she still be willing to take a chance on me?

I then thought of Aerith, of the guilt I had over her death. I had cared deeply for her, I had loved her even, but I was starting to realise the love I had for her was not as strong as the love I held for Tifa now. Was it Zack's love for her I was feeling? I knew my guilt over being too weak to fight Sephiroth's control as he killed her had made me wary of pursuing anything more than a friendship with Tifa. What if Sephiroth returned again and took her away?

I returned to reality when my stomach rumbled so I glanced at my Nav-Sav finding I was near the Chocobo ranch. I decided to grab a bite to eat there before heading back to Edge. I looked up from the screen and saw a flash of red in front of me. I swerved, narrowly avoiding it but in the process lost control of the bike. The front wheel collided with a rock causing the bike to come to an abrupt halt. My head slammed into the ground with a sickening thud as I was thrown off. I lay there dazed, wondering what the red thing was. I struggled to stay awake as my eyes stubbornly closed against my will.

Next thing I knew there was a wet thing nudging my side. "Cloud, wake up." I woke up realising I had passed out. "Are you alright, Cloud?"

"Yeah," I replied realising it was Nanaki I nearly hit. "Sorry, I was not watching where I was heading. I swerved to avoid you, lost control, and hit a rock." My head was throbbing so I started rubbing it where the pain was the worst in an attempt to relieve it. I saw a glow from the collar around Nanaki's neck then felt the familiar sensation of a low-level cure as it did its work repairing the injuries to my body. After the feeling passed, I got up and all the pain in my head was gone. "You still carry materia?"

"Only a low level restore in case I or anyone I encounter require healing. What are you doing out here? I thought you'd be with Yuffie, in Edge or Wutai." I realised Zack must have left posters in Cosmo too so I explained how the whole thing was a prank.

A couple days later.

I was riding into the Wutai capital. "Ok last stop, Wutai pagoda," I spoke to myself passing the guard at the town gate. This was a long delivery being that it was on another continent; Wutai took two days to reach. However, the guy who ordered the package paid double the going rate so Tifa insisted I go since we needed the cash.

Sighing, I knock on the pagoda door. It opens up slowly and Yuffie's father, Lord Godo, was standing there. "Ah. Cloud Strife, please, come in. I wish to speak with you." Nervously, I follow him into the pagoda. He leads me into a side room where a desk is located, takes a seat behind it, and gestures to a chair opposite, "Please take a seat Cloud." I do so. "I understand you and my daughter are engaged to be married?"

I take a deep breath. "Lord Godo, this whole thing of my marrying Yuffie is one giant prank. One arranged by my former best friend Zack." I inwardly cursed Zack once again for doing this.

"Cloud, from what I understand, Zack is dead?"

"He is yes but that doesn't stop him from coming to play pranks on me."

"Cloud, I am sorry to hear that it is a prank. It is a shame actually, as I can think of no one better suited to lead this nation and I know Yuffie thinks highly of you. She said without your leadership you guys would have never saved this planet."

"Thank you but our success was not purely because of me. I think your daughter will make a great leader without my or anyone else's help."

After our chat, we shake hands. "I understand Cloud. Thank you for the chat." I get up holding the parcel up for him to take which he does handing me the payment in return. I leave the Pagoda and then walk back into the main town to start looking for an inn since I missed the last boat. I pull out my PHS to phone Tifa and inform her there had been a delay and that I would be staying overnight here.

The next day while on my way back to Edge I decide to go to the cliff edge where Zack's Buster sword was located, to demand answers about why he put up so many posters. After an hour of demanding he show himself. I give up and get on Fenrir. I put the key in the ignition just as he appears and stares at the Buster Sword. I walk over to him as he speaks to me, "This is where you are keeping my mentor's sword? I wanted you to take care of it. Not leave it exposed like this, allowing it to rust. If Angeal knew, it was left out in the open like this, he would be angry. You think Sephiroth is scary when angry; Angeal is worse, trust me. He told me that this sword represents his SOLDIER honour. When I was forced to kill the monster he had become his sanity returned. As he lay there dying he gave it me, entrusted me with it."

"But... this is where you died Zack, it's a grave marker," I reply looking at the sword.

"This may be where my body died but my heart lived on, at least for a while. It finally died in Aerith's church just after Sephiroth killed her." Zack looked down at the ground tears forming in his eyes. "I loved her, still do." He picked up the sword resting it against his forehead and started to weep.

After he placed the sword back in the ground, he turned to leave. I stop him. "Wait, before you leave, tell me why did you put up those posters all around the world?"

He looks at me, smiles mischievously and says, "I told you the other day Cloud, being dead is boring." At that he disappears again.

I pick up the Buster sword from the cliff edge having decided Zack was right; leaving it exposed like that is causing it to rust. So I place it on my back over the harness I use for First Tsurugi and ride in the direction of Midgar.

I open the door to the church and smile at the newly formed pool where I and many of the infected children were cured of Geostigma. I then walk towards the flowerbed looking for a suitable place for the sword. I look towards the altar deciding it would be a good central position for it. I walk around the flowerbed up to the altar to find the ground has become slightly raised here. I stare at the mound in the floor. '_Can't remember seeing that before_,' I think to myself. I remove the sword from my back, rest it against my forehead and say a little prayer for Zack... and Angeal. I then thrust it downwards penetrating the raised ground. I take a step back looking at the sword thinking, '_It's as if it belongs there_' and then turn to leave.

As I walk around the flowerbed, I see multiple rolls of paper on one of the pews. I unroll one and find it's one of the marriage posters. "I told him not to do it. He just said it'll be funny."

I turn around and find Aerith standing there next to the sword, her hand on the hilt smiling. "Aerith, why did he do it? Everyone believed it, thought I was marrying Yuffie."

Aerith looks at me, releases the sword, and then starts to giggle. "He was right, this is funny. Cloud you take things too seriously." She then disappears.

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Hi. I have decided to edit each chapter in this story with my amazing beta reader, since it was determined to become a more serious story.

I apologise for removing the "list style", I decided to drop them, as I was struggling to think of new list titles.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up the next day. I had no deliveries to make, so decided to go tryout at their newly opened simulator that Reeve told me the WRO had created. I hoped on Fenrir and rode to their HQ, parked up and opened up the compartment where I kept First Tsugrugi. I got t out the first of the eight blades and noticed something strange about it. I thought nothing of it and picked up the next blade, it was also looking strange but I put it aside and got out the third. it was not untill I picked up the forth blade when I realised what it was that was wrong with the blades, someone had painted them pink! I started to fume, wondering who would do such a thing. I put the blades I had gotten out back into Fenrir and angrily returned home. Stopping at the local DIY store on the way to get some paint remover.

I spent the next hour cleaning my sword. I had finally removed all the paint, had put the blades away and had just climbed back onboard Fenrir when the door opened and Tifa walked in. "Cloud, what are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you back for a couple hours."

I looked over to her and explained how someone had spray painted my sword pink, so had to clean it and I was just leaving again for my workout. I placed the key into the ignition when Tifa stopped me from leaving "Sorry Cloud, you don't have time. I'm sorry, I need you go collect some things, we have that fancy dress party tonight.

"What? I thought it was next week. I do not have a costume yet the store has it on order, but won't be in stock till next Wednesday."

"Sorry Cloud, the others can't do next week now so we decided to do it tonight instead. I need you to take the van and collect the items on this list. I've already contacted the stores, you just need to go and collect them." I sighed as I removed the keys from the ignition and got into the van.

I was in the fancy dress shop waiting for the clerk to bring out the French Maid costume that Tifa had ordered, when I saw a black spiky wig. I looked at it and decided that I could wear it as part of my costume. After collecting everything on the list, I nipped to the WRO HQ to see if they had any old first class uniforms that I could loan for the party.

When I got back to the bar Vincent was there helping Tifa by hanging decorations. I decided since she was no-where to be seen to try and sneak upstairs. Where I could have a bath and relax before the party started, but when I was halfway up the stairs Tifa appeared at the top. I told her that I needed a bath, but she said I could have a shower in a bit and forced me to help decorate.

When we had finished, Tifa handed us both a beer each, I took a big drink and looked at Vincent, "so what's your costume going to be?" I asked.

"Superman, and yours?"

"A first class SOLDIER, I was going to come as Sephiroth. But as the costume isn't available till next week, I decided to dress as Zack instead."

"Interesting choice there Cloud" Vincent said, I was about to ask what he meant when there was a knocking at the door and Vincent went to see who it was, it was Cid and Shera who were dressed as Mario and Peach. I greeted them and handed them a drink each when more guests started to arrive Vincent said "We should go get changed" I nodded and headed upstairs followed by Vincent who headed straight to the guest room.

I headed over towards my room as Tifa's bedroom door opened and she walked out wearing her costume. I stood there staring at her she looked absolutely stunning, I wanted to rush over and tell her so, but resisted the urge. I watched her as she walked down the stairs her hips swaying seductively from side to side when she was gone I went into my room, to get ready. After seeing Tifa in that outfit I needed a cold shower, as my thoughts were of her.

An hour later, I walked down finding everyone had arrived and the party had started without me. I walked to the bar, grabbed a beer and took a sip from it. As I did Yuffie who was dressed as a slutty bunny girl ran over and grabbed my arm, "So where's your costume Cloud?"

"I am wearing it Yuffie, I'm a first class soldier"

"That's cheating" Your normal clothing is a modified soldier outfit. she stuck her tongue out and refused to leave my side all night. I wanted to spend time with Tifa but everytime I tried to get away from Yuffie she grabbed my arm again. I started to wonder if that poster from before had her thinking of me as her potential husband? How could I let her down without making her resent me?

The party ended and all of the Avalanchers started to leave. I was relieved when Vincent grabbed Yuffie who was drunk and was trying to kiss me, but I kept refusing to let her do it. Tifa walked over to me. "I thought she was going to ask to spend the night with you Cloud... I have never seen her like that before; I thought her crush on Vincent was bad."

I nodded, "It's my fault for kissing her last week I led her on, now I have to let her down."

Tifa smiled, "I was wondering why you kissed her..."

"I just reacted to her actions, I regret doing it" I replied.

Tifa stepped closer to me, I thought she was going to kiss me... but she stopped and stuck her hand on my chest "So how come you didn't make much of an effort on your costume Cloud?" I just shook my head and walked upstairs

She followed me, "I'm going to get to bed now Cloud. I need you to get up early tomorrow I need you to help me clean up the bar" I nodded and headed to my room to get some sleep. it eluded me, as all I could think about was her in that outfit.

The next day after I finished helping Tifa I decided to go test the WRO simulator, on the way I passed by Aerith's church so I decided to go inside and check on things. As I opened the doors, I saw a large man standing there.

"You, what are you doing in here?" I asked the man. He turned his head and glanced at me, then turned back to the sword. I immediately realised who it was! It was Angeal. I approached him cautiously he turned around and slapped me hard across the face.

"Cloud Strife, this sword represents my honour as a SOLDIER, how dare you just leave it here in this abandoned church to rust". I just hung my head, as I did he faded away.

Back in the Lifestream Zack placed his hand on Angeal's soldier "Angeal, why'd you have to shout at him?"

"No reason, I needed to let off some steam" Angeal smiled.

Back in the church, I heard a noise from the back room, so I headed towards it. I opened the door and saw Sephiroth and Aerith making out. I just glared at them as they broke apart. Aerith looked at me smiled then took Sephiroths hand as she spoke "Sorry Cloud, you've become too Emo for my liking" they both started laughing and they faded away. I decided to cancel the workout and returned to Seventh Heaven.

"Cloud you're home" Tifa said as I walked in from the storeroom. I did not acknowledge her, instead I headed behind the bar grabbed a bottle of Whiskey and took a swig from it. I then took a seat at a nearby table I saw the concerned look on her face so I voiced my thoughts that was repeating in my mind for her "Aerith, Sephiroth kissing need to forget."

Tifa quickly realised what had happened and just shook her head. "Not again! Can't you guys leave him alone and stay in the lifestream?" she took the seat opposite me and took the whiskey from me to stop me getting drunk. I groaned and told her what happened.

A couple days later, I had just finished a long delivery run to Rocket Town, so was glad to be home, I just wanted a nice long soak in the bath... I parked Fenrir in the storeroom and walked into the bar area, and saw Tifa standing there her back to me. "Hey Tifa, I'm home" she turned and stared at me and I took a step back in fear, sensing she was fuming over something.

I try to leave to give her some space. As I turn round, I find Reno and Rude standing there blocking the door, "Yo! You need to explain yourself man!" Reno says.

"What have I done now?" I ask.

"You don't remember?" Rude replies.

"Cloud man, we're mates right? But this is too much." Reno says.

"Just tell me what I did?" I plead. They surround me and force me to sit on a chair in the middle of the bar. They then stand either side of me making sure I am unable to run off. Tifa walks over to me, tears now falling from her eyes.

"Cloud. Why did you break into my bedroom last night, and steal my Bra's?" She asks timidly.

I stare at her in confusion "Tifa, what? Why would I do that?" Tifa slaps me.

"We saw you man, we were just heading past the bar when we saw you were creeping out the back entrance, you had one on your head. I wondering what was going on when we saw Tifa leaning out of the window shouting for you to 'come back'" Reno states.

I continue to look at Tifa who's now crouched on the floor sobbing I want to get up and hold her in my arms, to comfort her. As I try to get up I feel Rude's hand on my shoulder stopping me from getting up. so I just look at her "Tifa, I've been on a delivery run the last two days, it was not me." Suddenly the door opens and Zack walks in, his hair dyed Blonde, in his hard is a Victoria Secret bag full of Tifa's Bra's.

He looks at her. "Sorry, Tiff, here they are, It was just a joke, didn't intend for spikey to get into trouble" he walks to the bar keeping his distance from us all, places the bag on the bar and fades away.

Tifa looks at me, then to the bag, the tears are all but gone and her cheeks are bright bright red from embarrassment. "Sorry for accusing you Cloud, I saw the blonde hair, the outfit and assumed it was you." she gets up, grabs the bag and rushes upstairs.

"So, err I guess you were innocent, sorry 'bout that, no hard feelings man?" I just glance at Reno, as Rude removes his hand. I get up look at the stairs, debating whether to go up to her. "Go to her man" Reno calls over as they leave. I turn as they close the door. Then decide against it and head to the storeroom deciding to go for a ride to give Tifa some time alone.

While out, I decide to get Tifa some flowers to cheer her up. I head out towards the church to get her some, I look at them and notice some weeds growing, so I spend an hour pulling up the weeds. Placing them in the corner where I had built a compost heap. Once satisfied I had gotten them all I pick a bouquet flowers and head back to Edge.

On the way back to the bar I see a poster with Sephiroths face on it. I slow down and look at it. It states that "he is coming, tell Cloud" I tense up and change direction, I decide to head to the WRO HQ, to train using their simulator.

Upon arrival, I remember about the flowers I picked for Tifa, so I grab them and ask one of the secretaries to place them in water to keep them alive while I have a workout. She nods taking them. An attendant takes me to the simulator and loads up my personal training program. I step in and start the workout.

Midway through the simulation, it freezes. I look around in confusion and contact the attendant who sounds flustered and tells me that there is a small problem. That I just need to wait a couple seconds he is fixing it. I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn round and see Zack standing there. "It was a joke man, he's not coming back"

I just stare at him, "You had me scared you know"

"Sorry man, it's just too boring being dead" he fades away. I stand there, as the simulation continues so I finish the workout.

After leaving the simulator, I take Tifa's flowers from the secretary and hand her a couple of them to thank her for looking after them and head back to the bar.

I arrive home and find Tifa upstairs watching TV, "Cloud where did you go to, why didn't you come up to me, like Reno told you to?"

"I thought you needed cheering up, so I went to the church, to get you some flowers?"

Tifa notices the bouquet in my hand, and lets out a huge smile and takes them, she places them into a vase. She then turns back to me "you have been gone nearly 4 hours Cloud. It took you that long to get them?"

"well, errr... There was some weeding to do, that took me an hour then on my way back I saw this poster, saying Sephiroth was returning, so I went to the WRO HQ to use their simulator to make sure I was ready to face him. During the workout Zack told me it was a joke"

Tifa shook her head then got up and hugged me, I returned it. "I wish they would leave you alone, let you live a normal life." I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, how much I appreciated all she did for me, but was too afraid, so when we broke the hug, we took a seat and watched TV for a while. After a while my stomach rumbled making Tifa giggle upon hearing it, she got up and went into the kitchen, a few minutes later she placed two plates on the table, then called me over. She had made us a meal, I smiled thanking her and sat at the table to eat.

A couple of days later, I was in Wutai, to deliver a package, when I see a a poster with an hand drawn picture of a mans face on it. I stare at it in horror as I discover it was a wanted Poster and the face resembled my own.

I take a step back thinking I had a twin when I hear someone shouting "it's him! The Chocobo Kid is here" 'Chocobo kid?' I wonder to myself and walk towards the pagoda to look for either Godo or Yuffie to find out what was going on. As I walk past the Turtle's Paradise bar, I see Zack walking out with his hair once again dyed blonde, a man follows him out, demanding that he pays the tab "the Chocobo kid doesn't pay for beer." Zack slurs back, I realise he's drunk so I grab him.

"Zack what're you doing?" he looks at me and a huge devilish grin appears on his face.

"Mama Chocobo! Your son missed you so much."

"Zack, please just go back to the lifestream, dye you hair back black and don't call me Mama Chocobo" looking upset he fades away. I look to the bar 'suppose I better go pay for the beer he drank' I walk inside the barman stares at me trying to decide if I was the same person "err... what's the bill?" I ask him.

"4000 Gil, but you're not the guy? That guy was taller then you Cloud." The barman replies.'4000! Zack how many did you have' I get out my wallet and pay the tab. "Are you sure Cloud, it's not you tab?"

"Its Zack's, he's my friend. Don't worry, I'll get the money back from him.

I leave Wutai after making the delivery and board the ship back to Junon. I head to my cabin to relax while laying on the bed I pick up my PHS to call Tifa and tell her how the delivery went. I unlock it and discover I have a Voice mail. So I play it back, "Cloud you are so dead..." I recognise the voice as Sephiroths, but he sounded weird almost as if he was drunk. I realise had missed some of the message, so I listen to the rest of it."...and next time I return you won't defeat me so easily." The message ends so I hang up the phone and start thinking; he is coming back? I need to get my sword back from Reno, why'd I have to bet my sword during that poker game the other night?'

In the lifestream Aerith and Zack walk over to Sephiroth who was nursing a hangover "Seph, you're cruel when you're drunk"

"Yes, you know Minerva has finally gotten rid of all traces of Jenova from the planet, and we're unable to stay for more than a few seconds at a time" Aerith reminded him

"Why do you think I don't drink, I just wanted to prank call him, and I couldn't do it sober."

A couple of days later, Tifa was sitting opposite me at a fancy restaurant in Kalm, we had just finished a meal and was waiting for our desert to arrive. "Cloud I can't believe you arranged all this." Tifa said taking a sip of wine.

I look at her and smile, I decided to date her, to romance her, show her how grateful I was of her, "I just wanted to apologise for the way I've been treating you the last few years. I want you to know I appreciate everything you have done for me."

"Cloud, I do that as you're my best friend, I enjoy looking after you. But you're doing a good job of showing your appreciation here." Tifa replied I notice she was looking a little tipsy.

Suddenly the peace is shattered as Zack walks in. "Party time! The Chocobo kid is here" he notices Cloud and Tifa, "Mama Chocobo! Tour girl! What are you guys doing here, lets party dudes"

I look over at Zack and shush him "Zack, I told you don't call me that."

"Ok ok, jeez Spike, I thought we were bestest pals." he replies.

"We were Zack, but I'm fed up all these pranks. Oh and I paid your tab in Wutai, you own me 4000gil" I tell him.

"You did? No wonder they served without my having to beg. I'll get you a cheque. As for the pranks It's who I am, Spike, I can't help myself." Zack fades away.

I look at Tifa she is sat there giggling, "I am sorry Cloud, but seeing you and him interacting like that is so funny."

I shake my head as our deserts arrive.


	3. Chapter 3

Everything in this chapter is can be found in chapters 1-12 of Ohjays story "Boredom". It is Cloud talking about his time as an infantry man while drunk, at the 10h annual AVALANCHE reunion, after Tifa asked cloud was he the victim of any pranks.

* * *

**21. The time he had to kiss Zack's shoes when he was a new recruit.**

I was kind of surprised I had to do this, so I questioned Zack ""Wait, so you're saying that it's REQUIRED to bow down before SOLDIERS before missions and kiss their shoes?"  
Zack just looked at me and replied "Yep".  
Back in the lifesteam, Angeal looked at Zack, "Zack, just how many recruits did you make do this? No wonder so many quit".

**22. the time, he accepted Zack's dare and started stalking Sephiroth.**

"I can't believe you actually did that, man. No-wonder you're all Emo". Reno said.  
I replied "I still have nightmares over his daily routine".

_Back in the lifestream_.  
Sephiroth admitted to Angeal "I decided to mess with him, so I did some unusual stuff".  
"Err, what did you do?" Angeal asked.  
"Trust me you do not want to know, all I can say is this, you know Lazards pet Chocobo, let's just say I paid it a visit, and made him think its name was Cloud"

**23. The infamous Zack vs. Infantry paintball match.**

I can't believe Zack got me first every time. Final round I was determined to last, but Zack still got me first.

Back in the lifestream,  
"I remember that, he was just easy a target"

**24. The time Zack trapped me in a bag for nearly 8 hours.**

"Ya'know, when you asked me to help you with something this isn't what I had in mind" I told him.  
"Oh like you have anything better to do" I still can't believe I didn't make something up.  
I was just lucky the mail clerk forgot his MP3 player in the mailroom, and discovered me, else I'd have been trapped in that bag all weekend.

Back in the lifestream.  
Aerith looked at Zack, "You left him, trapped in that bag?"  
"What I left him a Chocobo chocolate bar to eat".

**25. The time I was training in the training room and Zack came in.**

Initially I was pleased to see him, as I thought I could get another sparing session with him, but he was too hyper having had too much coffee to train me, so he just chased me round the room for an hour shouting "Spikeyhowareyou! Speaktomespikey"  
So when he eventually left, I thought I was safe. Until he came back in, literally an hour later, he returned this time he was on a sugar rush.

**26. The time I saw Zack trying to hide against the wall.**

I just knew there was something strange about that wall, so I approached, suddenly Zack jumped out at me shouting "CHOCOBO BOY!" I just screamed then ran back to the dorms to hide.

**27. The time Zack talked me into cross dressing.**

"Just how many times have you dressed as a girl, Cloud" Tifa and Yuffie asked at the same time.  
I just groaned, why did I have to tell them this one "just the twice" Vincent and Cid just looked at me.

_Back in the lifestream_.  
"Zack, what colour dress did you make him wear?"  
"You saw it Aerith, remember that 'girl' you saw me with the one time in the slums"  
"That was Cloud? I remember having a couple of guys wanting to know who 'she' was, they offered me loads of Gil for me to send them a copy the photos"

**28. The time Zack sprayed me with silly string.**

I was on my way to see Commander Jones so I was already feeling tense, when he just appeared out of no-where and sprayed me with silly string.

**29. The time I had to steal Masamune**

He said he'd upload the pictures of me cross-dressing onto facebook. "Wait" Tifa said grabbing her laptop, 5 minutes later she was in Zack's pranks album, "These photo's you mean?"  
I went pale "Zack it's a good job you're dead as I'm going to kill you!"  
Within an hour all of AVALANCHE had Clouds contact picture set to Cloud cross-dressing.

Back in the lifestream.  
Zack and Aerith were laughing "Zack, you got to add him as a friend and tag him now he knows about them".  
"I can't Aerith he doesn't have a facebook account"

**30. the time Zack jumped onto my back, and shouted "Go Chocobo"**

To be honest I was bored, so I just played along, and ran around making warking noises.

* * *

I did enjoy going through Ohjays story looking for these, and since her story is 35 chapters, the next chapter shouldn't be too long a wait.

Re. Number 22, if anyone wants to do a list of the things Sephiroth could have done while Cloud was stalking him. I would like to read it.

edit: made a couple of corrections.


	4. Chapter 4

31-35 is set in during the 10th annual Avalanche reunion is still going, and Clouds still telling Tifa about the pranks.  
36 – 40 are just in the general course of Clouds life.

* * *

**31. Wake up late, and find Fenrir looking like a hotdog.**

While I was initially annoyed, I remembered helping Zack doing the same to someone's car. "Wait Cloud I remember that, wasn't you late making your deliveries that day" Tifa asked,  
"No Tifa, I didn't have time to remove the plastic hotdog so I just got on to make the delivery". At this Yuffie giggled, and pulled out her phone and showed Tifa a photo of Cloud riding a giant hotdog.

**32. Open your closest to get dressed find all your clothing is pink.**

"Tifa, you should remember the time I walked round in a pink shirt", Tifa smiled

"yes, I remember that, what happened to that shirt?"  
"I got rid of it, Zack dyed all my clothing Pink, so I had to spend my weeks budget on new clothing", Tifa disappeared for a few minutes, and reappeared with a pint t-shirt,  
"This is what I sleep in sometimes; it was your favourite top cloud".

**33. Patrol the streets in my underwear.**

Clouds PHS went off, answering it, it was a picture message from Zack, Cloud went red, so Tifa grabbed his phone, and started to giggle, "Cloud do you still own that Chocobo underwear?"  
"No, they wasn't mine, Zack dared me to patrol in my helmet and underwear, and then dared me to do in Chocobo underwear"  
"so where's the helmet? Tifa asked  
"I got mugged by Reno, he stole it".

**34. Read a fanfiction of the adventures of Captain Amazing and the Chocobo Kid.**

Yuffie, what's that you're reading on your laptop, "Oh Cloud, you should read this Fanfiction it's about you and Zack"  
"Yuffie you should know not to believe what the fans write on those Fanfiction sites,"  
"I know Cloud, just this one is amazing, it's written by Captain Amazing, it's the adventures of Captain Amazing and the Chocobo Kid", Cloud started to read, and soon booked marked the story.

back in the lifestream

"Aerith! Cloud likes my fanfiction story"  
"The Yaoi one where Sephiroth, Angeal, & Genesis, take turns on him?"  
"What? I would never write that"  
"Oh yeah, you're ZackF654. that story was written by ZackF456"

**35. Question Zack's sanity only to get nearly driven insane yourself.**

While at the bar getting another round a drinks, Cloud saw Zack at the pool table watching him, so he walked over and questioned him "Zack"  
"Yeah?"  
"Are you insane?"  
"Do you think I'm insane Cloud?"  
"Yes" the questioning continued like this for a couple minutes so Zack just disappeared leaving Cloud looking bewildered, Tifa came over,  
"You ok Cloud?"  
"Do I look ok?"  
"You look like to need to go kill something"  
"Not something Tifa, someone"  
"Zack again?"  
"Yes"

**36. Discover the Milkshake Hojo gave him was made by Zack.**

"Cloud you want to be a Soldier do you not?"  
"I do Professor, but how will a milkshake help me?"  
"It contains some ingredients that will boost your strength and stamina" cloud quickly drank it, and do Hojo's surprise it worked.  
"Interesting, now what did Zack put in that milkshake?"  
The trouble was, while it boosted Clouds strength, it made him more susceptible to Mako poisoning.

**37. Find Fenrir sprayed Pink.**

"Sorry Tifa, I overslept, I don't have time for breakfast" I'm running late I need to get to Gongaga, I got a delivery for Zacks parents" As cloud walked out, he saw Fenrir sprayed pink, with streamers hanging off the handlebars.  
"Zack! I'm going to kill you next time you appear"

In the life stream

"I think it looks cute Zack"  
"Yeah, I think so too Aerith"

**38. Get questioned about a pair of women's underwear.**

"Hey Cloud I have a question"  
"What is it now Zack?" he asked getting a little tired of his friend's visits from the life stream  
"Well, ya'know how I busted you out of Hojo's lab and put you in a SOLDIER First Class uniform?"  
"Yeah"  
"Well I went through your pockets of your old clothes, and found a pair of girl's underwear. Wanna tell me what that was about?"  
"…." Dammit I wondered where I placed Tifa's 'orthopaedic underwear'

**39. Watch a YouTube clip of himself proclaiming Zack is the greatest person he's ever met.**

"Hey Cloud, I found this video of you"  
"You have? Err, let's see it?" Tifa plays the clip, he saw himself standing in the ShinRa lobby proclaiming Zack to be the greatest person he'd ever met, _"Good, now do it with a megaphone so everyone can hear you"_ "what, someone recorded that! Who did it?" he said, looking embarrassed,  
"there are 500,568 views too"  
"oh well nothing I can about it"

**40. Accidently dye your hair black and find a note.**

While washing his hair he noticed his hair was turning darker, so he quickly rinsed it out, but it was no good his hair was black, "Tifa!, I need your assistance"  
"Coming Cloud" upon seeing Clouds hair, she looked shocked, "Why did you dye you hair Cloud"  
"I didn't want to I think someone tampered with my shampoo"  
"Don't worry Cloud, I'll get my hairdresser to fix it tomorrow" Could didn't leave his room that day then the next day he found a note saying '**_you_****_look better with dark hair, very "Zack-like"_** upon realising who had done it  
"Zack!" Zack appeared.  
"Oh come on Cloud you could be my brother" then he quickly disappeared again when cloud tried to grab him.

* * *

All these can be found in OhJays story 'Boredom" Story ID 6543196. Chapters 13-27.

Next chapter will be from Chapters 28-35


	5. Chapter 5

I am so sorry for the long wait, I lost inspiration to write and forgot about this. but having received a PM from a fan, I looked though my stories and decided to write another chapter for this.

* * *

**41. Have Yuffie rushing into the Bar shouting excitedly.**

"What's that noise, outside?" Tifa asked looking at Cloud in the corner of the bar, who was nursing his well deserved beer after helping Tifa throwing out a rather huge trouble maker.  
"Oh.. My.. God.. Teef... you are not going believe this news.." Calm down Yuffie, take a seat.  
"I can't teef, I'm SOOOOOO happy..."  
"What's the news Yuffie." Cloud asked her, making Yuffie jump a mile.  
"Oh Cloud sorry didn't see you in the corner there, its Rufus.."  
"What do you mean.. Rufus..?"  
"He Proposed, and... I accepted.." Yuffie squealed in delight, showing Tifa the engagement band.  
"Wait, Yuffie when did you and Rufus start going out..?" Cloud walked over confused.  
"A few months ago, I thought all of avalanche knew?"  
"oh, congratulations" Cloud responded and walked away.  
"I thought he'd be happier for me" Yuffie said staring at Cloud  
"Ignore him, you know how much he hates ShinRa, so tell me all the details.."Tifa replied.

**42. Come home late from a delivery run, finding the bar thrashed.**

Pulling into the private parking bay of the bar, Cloud sighed to himself thinking about the terrible day he'd had. He walked over to the bar, and found a sign up, 'Closed for private party', oh damn that's all I need, hopefully Yuffies hen night will be over now, afterall, it's just after 1am. Pushing the door open, he saw the tables all over turned, and broken glass everywhere..  
"What happened here.." clould asked himself.  
"Hey, get me another beer here" Cloud heard Yuffie shout.  
"Get your own beer" he heard Tifa shout back from the kitchen.  
Cloud watched Yuffie attempt to get up, but as she took a step she nearly fell over, Cloud rushed over to help her, as he grabbed her round the waste, yuffie squealed, and turned shouting "Get off me, I'm ok, more beer.." when he refused to let her go, she looked back to see who dared hold her, recognising Cloud, she threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately on the lips. Breaking the kiss Yuffie tried to speak but instead passed out in his arms, so he carried her to the guest room, then went to find Tifa.

He found her in the kitchen mumbling about him. "Cloud, why do you keep leaving us, don't you know how much I love you?" He leaned down to pick her up, as he did she opened her eyes, smiling then spoke again "Cloud you came for me..." he looked at her, but she fell asleep again. he shrugged and picked her up and took her to her room, then went back to the bar and started to clean up finally finishing at 5am..

**43. Tend to a busy bar and a hungover Tifa.**

Tifa woke and looked at her clock, 11am, she went to go back to sleep, then shot up.. 11am! The kids are late for school! Getting out of bed she realised she was fully dressed, as she stood, the room started spinning, and she quickly sat down, as she sat on the bed, Cloud walked in, "you're finally awake, I see"  
"Cloud, the kids, they got school!"  
"Kids? Tifa, they moved out last month remember?"  
"Oh, yeah, I remember now" Tifa said relaxing,  
there was a knock on the door, and Yuffie walked in "Cloud here you are! The customers are asking if the bar will open soon?"  
"Yeah, can you open up, start taking orders, I'll be down shortly to help"  
"Cloud, I don't feel very well" Tifa said rushing to the bathroom, Cloud just sighed and followed to check on her, after ensuring she was ok, he went downstairs to start preparing the luchtime food orders, while thanking Minerva he took some lessons from Tifa.

**44. Propose to the girl you love.**

After the final customer had left Tifa locked the door, and looked at Cloud, "Cloud I can't believe how much of a help you were today,"  
"It was nothing Tifa" he replied and started cleaning up  
"I mean it Cloud, this morning, I felt terrible, but you took care of me, as well as keeping everyone happy here till I felt well enough to come help." Tifa walked over to Cloud grabbed him pulling him closer to her and kissed his cheek, "I'm going take a shower, you ok to finishing cleaning up down here?"  
"Yeah, this is nothing." While tidying his mind started to wonder to what tifa had said while drunk '..don't you know how much I love you...'.

After finishing cleaning up. He went upstairs, and noticed the shower room door was ajar, meaning she'd finished her shower he walked towards his room, then stopped and walked to Tifa's room instead. Knocking on the door, he asked if he could enter.  
"Tifa, err can we chat about last night?" he said walking in after being allowed entry.  
"Sure, everything ok?"  
"Yeah, just when I put you into bed, you were talking in your sleep, about my never being there, and I just wanted to apologise."  
"Oh Cloud, that was a long time ago, ever since we defeated Kadaj and his group, you've always been there, you promptly return your calls, and always tell me where you are."

After chatting for a while they went silent, eventually Cloud spoke again "you also said that you loved me?"  
"I do Cloud, you're like a brother to me"  
"Tifa, I know I usually reply that you're like a sister to me, but I wanted to be honest, I didn't want to break your heart, but after talking to Yuffie today, I decided to take a chance." he then went quiet and took a breath. He then stood up off the bed, and went down on his knee, "Tifa Ann Lockheart" I love you with all my heart, I always have done, and always will do, will you do me the honour of marrying me?"  
Tifa didn't know what to say, she stood up closed her eyes, then opened them, and knelt down next to Cloud, taking his hands in hers "Cloud I love you with all heart, I am constantly thinking about you, you're in my thoughts when I wake up, there when I fall asleep, and I have oftened dreamed of being married to you, and raising our own children together, but now that you have asked that dream is being reality I find I'm unable to answer, I need time to think things through. Please give me some time"

**45. Find a rejection letter from Tifa.**

"Tifa, does this mean the answers no?" Cloud said walking downstairs into the bar area holding a letter.  
"Why would you ask that Cloud, I love you, but I have not reached a decision yet". Tifa responded wiping down the bar.  
"Then what's this letter I found?" Cloud asked handing her the letter.  
"Let me see that.. oh NO! This wasn't for you.. It was supposed to go to Rude.. I gave this to Reno this afternoon, while you were on a delivery, Wait, if this is still here, where's that letter I wrote for the man who delivers the beer, to confirm we want a double delivery next week?" at that, Rude swaggered in.  
"Hey Baby, I'm here to make that double delivery you ordered" Rude said.  
"Rude, err, there's been a mix up, that letter you received was supposed to go to the beer man, here's your letter.." Tifa responded handing him the rejection letter.

**46. Apply makeup on an irate princess.**

"Where is he?" Yuffie asked Reno who had just walked into the church waiting room where she, cloud and Godo was awaiting Rufus's arrival.  
"He's just landing, there was a delay, he will be here shortly" Reno replied, and quickly walked out as Yuffie went to grab him.  
"Calm down Yuffie" Cloud said,  
"HOW DARE HE BE LATE! Especially after all the deadlines he set me the last couple days" Yuffie screamed at Cloud tears streaming down her face.  
A few minutes later, Reno sheepishly walked back in, and said "ok, he's here, he's waiting." he quickly left.  
"About time, let's get started" she went to grab Godo's arm.  
"Yuffie, wait, your makeup is kind of smudged" Cloud said, she rushed over to the mirror, and looked at her reflection in horror, and started to sob again.  
"Everything is ruined, I can't get married like this." she Pouted.  
Cloud grabbed the makeup trolley and ordered Yuffie to sit down, when she did he started to dry her tears and wipe the old makeup from her face  
"What are you doing Cloud" Yuffie asked.  
Cloud shushed her then spoke "Godo, you go inform everyone she'll be out Shortly, I'll just redo her makeup"  
A couple of minutes later Godo returned, just as Cloud finished applying her makeup, she looked at her reflection, and smiled in delight hugged, and gave him a kiss, "Where did you learn how to apply makeup"  
"Err, it's a long story Yuffie"  
"I got to hear that story, Cloud, but now I got to get married" she walked to Godo then took his arm and walked out of the waiting room to get married.

* * *

Only 6 this time, as each part was longer than I planned.


	6. Chapter 6

**47 – Get a phone call from the sexual health clinic saying Tfa's pregnancy test results came back positive.**

"Hello Seventh Heaven, Cloud speaking" Cloud said picking up the phone.  
"Hello, is Miss Lockheart available" a posh sounding voice female voice asked.  
"No, I'm afraid she cannot come to the phone right now, can I take a message?" cloud replied  
"Is this her partner Mr Striffe?" the voice enquired  
"It is, yes"  
"Mr Striffe, can you inform Miss Lockheart, that her pregnancy test results came in, and they're positive." The voice told him.  
"Ok, will do" cloud responded. Scribbling the message on the pad, on the wall in the cellar, he ended the call and hung up.  
He went back to moving the empty barrels next to the outside door ready for collection later that day. When he suddenly realised what the message meant.. 'they're positive' he uttered to himself.. 'Tifa is pregnant?' he found his legs was suddenly unable to support his weight so he fell down onto the floor, he stayed sat there for a while muttering to himself 'Tifa.. pregnant.?'

Hearing a sound in the main bar, he realised Tifa was back, so he started to think when had they had sex, he then remembered 'that night' a week previously, the day after Yuffie's hen night.. Tifa was grateful for how he had taken over and ran the bar that day how after closing that evening and were alone in the living room, Tifa started to thank him showing him gratitude, by kissing him, which turned into petting and things started to get heated between them, and it just kind of happened, he had regretted it the next morning, but she had said she was fine with what happened saying it brought them closer together.

**48 – Be distant to everyone.**

After the bar closed and Yuffie and Rufus had left Tifa approached Cloud, "Cloud What's wrong you barely spoke to Yuffie or Rufus all evening, you seemed as if you were avoiding us?"  
"Sorry, just got things on my mind is all" he responded  
"Cloud, you would tell me if there was any problems?" Tifa said placing a hand on his arm.  
"Of course I would" he was interrupted by his PHS ringing, which he answered. Tifa sighed and left to give him some privacy  
"Mama Chocobo! How you been buddy" Cloud sighed  
"Zack, after all you, Aerith and sephiroth have done to me recently I don't feel like talking to you"  
"arw.. don't be like tha..." Zack was saying as Cloud hung up. He went to help Tifa clearing the bar but noticing she was as good as finished he headed up to his room instead.

**49 – Get woken by a very irate Tifa**

"Cloud Striffe! You forgot to pass me a message the other day!" Tifa yelled at him after waking him by squirting him with the water pistol she confiscated from Denzel a few years previously.  
"What message?" Cloud groggily replied, wiping water from his face.  
"That one from 4 days ago, from the clinic?" she brought the pistol up to his face threatening to shoot him.  
"Oh man, sorry I completely forgot about that, you see I was moving the barrels and had to rush to get the phone, I wrote it down?" he responded, as a steam of water hit him in the face.  
"You know I never go in there, how was I supposed to see it?" Tifa replied her anger now giving way to tears.  
"I'm sorry Tifa" he got up and wiped the tears from her face and pulled her into a hug.  
"It's ok Cloud, I just that I just phoned the Clinic to complain about not getting the results yet, after I was placed on hold for over 30 minutes, I was told they had given you the message." She sobbed into his chest, he patted her back apologising once again. "We're having a baby Cloud" she whispered to him after she finally stopped sobbing.  
"I know Tifa, I'm sorry, I used protection" Cloud replied. she punched him in the chest after pulling away from him.  
"I'm pregnant, and that's what you respond with?" she stormed out of the room crying again.  
"Tifa.." Cloud called after her, following her to her room, but she just slammed the door in his face.

**50 – Get dragged out for a lad's night out by friends.**

"Tifa, HELP!" Tifa just ignored his calls for help as The Turks walked into Seventh Heaven, grabbed Cloud, dragged him out of the bar, and into the back of a car where Tsung was sat waiting.  
"Cloud, you're coming with us.." Tseng informed him.  
"Why, what have I done..?" Cloud asked staring daggers at him, Reno got in next to him sandwiching him in the middle Rude got into the driver's seat locking the doors to stop Cloud from trying to get out..  
"No questions Cloud, you cannot resist." Tseng replied, as the car drove off  
"Where we going?" Cloud asked.  
"Yo, man we cannot tell you... yet" Reno replied. Cloud just sighed and fell back into the chair accepting he was trapped for now.  
They pulled up to another bar, Reno forced Cloud inside and all but threw him down into a chair at a table where Cid, Barret and Rufus were waiting "Welcome Cloud." Rufus said nodding at the Turks who then walked away towards the bar. Barret grabbed a beer and placed it in front of him, He refused to drink it so Cid told him to 'Drink his damned beer' Vincent walked over and placed a couple beers on the table  
"Hello Cloud, I see they convinced you to join us tonight" Vincent said taking a seat.  
"What is this?" Cloud looked round at his friends confused.  
"Its a lads night out, Cloud" Reno told us he'd told Tifa to invite you, wait, didn't she pass on the message?" Barret replied  
"Yo, Emo boy would decline and not show, so we told Tifa we were going to 'kidnap' him for the night" Reno said placing more beers on the table, Tsung and Rude did the same. Cloud took his beer, as another was lined up behind it.  
"Oh well, since I am here, let us drink" Cloud said taking a huge drink from his beer. as he did he heard his PHS beep, he opened it, and saw he had received a picture message, from Tifa. Opening the message he was presented by a photo of Eleana, Tifa, Yuffie, Aerith and some red headed women who Cloud did not recognise with the caption 'if the lads can have a night out, why can't us girls too? A shame I can't drink, just about to tell them why'. He sent a response, 'I'll try not to have too many' he put his phone away, as Zack and Sephiroth walked over to their table.  
"Congratulations Cloud, I hear Tifa's pregnant" Sephiroth said.  
"Yeah, Mama Chocobo, finally going to become Papa Chocobo" Zack added as they both took a seat at the table.

#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

I Decided since I referred to this story in "Clouds Stalker" I would update this so people can find it easier.

Also, I have a question to all authors on this site, why do you put disclaimers in your stories? Doesn't this site, by virtue of being called "fanFiction", do a generic disclaimer for us?


	7. Chapter 7

51 – Find a note from Aerith.

'Why does Aerith want me to come to the church so urgently? Cloud thought to himself as he finished reading the note he found on his bedside table. He quickly dressed and rushed there.

He opened the doors to church and walked inside. As he did he saw Aerith stood there, a child in her arns. He approached her, looking at the chil.  
"You made it Cloud, this little fellow is your child."  
"My child? What do you mean Aerith?" She sighed,  
"Cloud, when Sephiroth killed me I was a couple weeks pregnant"  
"Pregnant?" Cloud took a step back away from her, and took a seat on one of the pews.  
"Yeah, Josh here, is your son."  
"My son?"  
"Yeah Minerva decided, since he's part Cetra to let him live I want you to take care of him." Aerith walked over to Cloud, and handed him the child, as Cloud took the child, Aerith faded away.

52 – Take Josh home to Tifa.

"Tifa I'm home." He said walking into the bar, finding it empty. "Tifa?"  
"Cloud? That you, how did it go at the church?" Tifa said walking out of the kitchen, stopping when she saw he was holding a baby. "Cloud, where did you find that baby?"  
"Tifa, I think you'd better take a seat?" Tifa did as he instructed,  
"Ok talk Cloud" Cloud took a seat opposite her placing the child on the table between them. As he did the baby started to cry. Tifa picked up the baby, and checked its diaper finding it needed changing. "Cloud, go buy diapers, I'll get him cleaned up ready" Cloud go up to leave  
"I'll buy baby food while I'm at the store"

53 – Get kept awake all night, every night for a week

"Cloud it's your turn to check on the baby"  
"No, I checked him last time" Tifa, sighed and went to check on him,  
next day "Cloud, I can't cope, we were nearly late for my scan this morning".  
"I agree, just hope our baby doesn't keep us up like this".

54 – Find the babysitter drunk.

"Janette! You're fired.." Clould exclaimed walking into the bar finding it trashed.  
"I'm sorry, I just invited my boyfriend over, who brought his mate, who invited..."  
"Save it, you were supposed to be taking care Josh, talking of who where is he?" Cloud rushed upstairs to find Josh fast asleep in his crib, Scarlet was asleep laying on his and Tifa's bed. He walked over and woke her. "Scarlet, what are you doing here?" Scarlet woke, and saw Cloud standing over her.  
"Cloud, my daughter called me for help, said she was supposed to be taking care of Josh while you were out making a delivery to Kalm and Tifa was out of town. At that Janette walked in, Cloud just stared at her, thanked Scarlet for taking care of Josh and handed Scarlet the babysitting money.

just a couple to try and get me back into the swing of writing this story again.


	8. Chapter 8

55. Get questioned by Tifa over Josh's parentage

"Cloud, I was wondering, you said when Aerith was killed she was already a couple weeks pregnant?" Tifa asked getting back into bed after putting Josh down for the night, again.

"That is what she told me, yes." Cloud responded, dreading where Tifa was heading with that statement.

"So, did you ask her who the father was? Did she tell you who it is?"

"No need for me to ask, she told me who it was." Cloud wanted to tell her that he was the father, but was afraid that she would push him away.

"So how come she asked you to take care of him? Didn't she ask you to let the father know; give him a chance to know his son? He is alive, isn't he?" Cloud got out of bed and grabbed a sheet from the cupboard. Tifa stared at him in confusion. "Where are you going Cloud?"

"Going to sleep in my office," he replied opening the bedroom door.

Tifa rushed over, grabbing his arm to prevent him from leaving."Why Cloud? Please stay here with me. I find I miss you when you're not here next to me." He dropped the sheet then climbed back in bed. She got in beside him and snuggled up against his back, embracing him to provide reassurance. "I love you Cloud."

"I love you too Tifa." He held her hand as he said it, tears welling up in his eyes. After Tifa's breathing steadied and he was sure she was asleep, he started to weep.

56. Have a fight with Tifa

Cloud's alarm sounded noisily. As he shut it off Tifa asked, "Thought you turned off the alarm last night? I thought you have the day off?"

"I do. That was the secondary alarm. I forgot about it." Tifa slapped his back. "Ouch! What was that for?" he asked turning to look at her.

"For waking me from a wonderful dream." She smiled, pulled him closer, and kissed him. "Well, as punishment for waking me up early, you need to make it up to me. Make the dream a reality Cloud." She pushed him down onto his back and caressed his pecs while sitting over his crotch.

He brought his hands up and took her nightgown off. "Your wish is my command Tifa."

After they finished making love, Tifa got out of bed stating, "Better get up and make breakfast since it is close to Josh's feeding time anyway." Cloud just lay there smiling. She looked over and threw a pillow at him. "Oi, stop grinning like a Cheshire cat you!" He caught the pillow and grabbed her, starting to tickle her ribs. She broke free and looked at him, "Ok, you are going to pay for that." She grabbed a pillow and swung it at him, which he barely avoided.

"Not a chance," he retorted grabbing another pillow and swung it. She gasped in surprise as it hit her shoulder blades, knocking the pillow from her grasp onto the floor. She bent over to grab it, as she did he rushed over and started to tickle her ribs again.

She fell down onto the bed giggling like a school girl. "Ok, ok, I surrender, you win!" He grabbed a pillow and swung it above his head humming the victory fanfare. As he did she swung her pillow and caught him in the side. He doubled over winded; she then swung another pillow and caught him in the back. He fell forward, landing face first on the bed; she jumped behind him and tickled his ribs.

He started laughing and begging for mercy, "No, please… I'm sorry." As she stopped, she got off him and he rolled over onto his back gasping for breath. She leaned over him and put a hand on his shoulder to see if he was ok. He quickly pulled her down on top of him and placed his arms around her in a hug as they started kissing.

57. Reveal to Tifa who Josh's father is

"Cloud, breakfast is ready." He walked into the dining area and placed Josh into the high chair. He then took a seat at the table in front of his breakfast. Tifa walked in carrying a bowl of Rusks and started to feed Josh. After he was done, she sat next to Cloud who was just biting into a sausage. She smiled and pointed out that he had some sauce on his cheek. He grabbed a napkin and held it up to his cheek, "It's on your other cheek Cloud." He apologized and wiped it off.

"You not eating Tifa?" Cloud inquired noticing she had hardly touched hers.

"Not feeling very hungry, I'll have it later," she replied smiling at him.

After breakfast, they sat in the living room. "So, what do you want to do about Josh's father? Should we find him and tell him he has a son?" Tifa asked.

He sighed, got up out of his lazy boy chair and sat on the sofa next to her. He held her hand, took a deep breath and told her, "Tifa, I'm the father."

Tifa released his hand staring at him in shock. "You... you're the father? How… err when… No. I don't want to know."

"I wanted to tell you Tifa, but was afraid it would push you further from me. I don't want to lose you too."

58. Find out Tifa was used for Sex

"Cloud, earlier I said I don't want to know about you and Aerith, but I've thought about it and I do. I want to know. You are special to me. I would have accepted you as a couple. I would have given you my full support. Back then I still had feelings for Johnny and he had a crush on me. But we were travelling the world chasing Sephiroth, trying to save the planet and it didn't leave time for me to pursue a relationship."

"Is that why he was so cold towards me, why he left sector 7? Was it as I came back into your life?"

"When we first arrived in Costa, I found him staying there. So I asked him why he chose to leave Midgar at that time. I knew he wanted to travel and see the world, since he had been talking about it for a long time. His mother told me he was all talk and she doubted he would actually go and do it. He told me that your return into my life was the push he needed to stop talking about it, to actually go and do it."

"Did anything happen between you? No, you don't have to answer that."

"It's ok, you deserve to know. Yes something did happen and it was that night in Costa. After talking about why he left, he asked about me, so I told him about everything that happened since he left the slums, how we were on a mission to save the planet. Then I told him about you, how you seemed to be ignoring me, how you kept putting Aerith first and how it affected me. I was jealous of her Cloud. I was weak. I started to cry so he hugged me, gave me a shoulder to cry on. He was there for me so I kissed him and it just evolved from there."

She allowed Cloud to absorb all that had been said then resumed, "The next morning he apologized to me. I assured him it was ok and I tried to keep in contact, but he never responded. I never heard anything more about him. That is until a couple weeks ago, I heard he got married just after Meteorfall. Thinking about it now, I think he only wanted me for sex Cloud."

She started weeping. He pulled her into a hug and allowed her to cry into his shoulder. After she stopped, she whispered, "I feel so much better getting that off my chest. I'm going to eat now."

59. Tell Tifa about the Gold Saucer date night with Aerith

"Cloud, I want you tell me about your relationship with Aerith, were things serious between you two?"

Cloud got up and started to pace, then sat back down. "Tifa, you remember that night we were stuck at Gold Saucer? The one when Cait stole the keystone from my room while I was out with Aerith.

Tifa looked at him and nodded. "You were... on a date?"

"When I first met her, I saved her from being kidnapped by Reno. She asked if I would be her bodyguard, my payment would be 'one date'; that night at Gold Saucer was the date. I only went along with it because she had this way to convince me to do just about anything for her. Well, just after Cait handed Tseng the stone and Cait had admitted to being a spy we went back to the hotel. She comforted me because I felt guilty for letting him into the group and since I was the leader, I should have known he couldn't be trusted. She sat me on the bed and told me it wasn't my fault; that Cait had deceived all of us. She hushed me when I tried to argue that it was my fault and told me to get ready for bed. I looked at her to question her but she was already removing her dress. I continued to stare at her in confusion but she smiled back at me saying she was staying with me for a couple hours, then walked over and kissed me. She took control; she wanted me. I had wanted her but I was too afraid, I was unsure if she felt the same way. Turned out I was her first. That was the only time we made love. I never knew she was pregnant and I think it's why she went off to the forgotten capital alone."

He got up and went to leave Tifa alone. She got up and stopped him from doing so. "Cloud, you did nothing wrong. I understand, Aerith may have been quiet but she had a strong will and if she wanted something she would have gotten it one way or another." He turned back, tears in his eyes.

60. Get questioned by the Turks where Josh came from

"Cloud, I am pleased we had this chat this morning. I feel it's brought us closer as a couple," Tifa said, leaning into him and resting her head on his chest. He placed his arm over her to hold her close. After a while she repositioned herself by curling up, as best as she could, in Clouds lap. She started holding her stomach. "Baby's moving again," she replied to Cloud's unspoken question. Then gasped slightly as she felt a different sensation, she thought nothing of it, then felt it again. She lifted her top up slightly exposing her slightly bulging stomach. as the sensation came again she saw her stomach move and realized what it was. "Cloud, I can feel our baby kicking, here feel for yourself."

"You want me to feel you up again?" Cloud said jokingly positioning his hand over her breast letting it hover an inch above it.  
She grabbed his hand and guided it down to her stomach. "I meant my stomach, where our baby is kicking." Cloud smiled as the baby kicked again.

She remained curled up in his lap nearly falling asleep on him. She woke herself up looking up at his beautiful face "What's the time Cloud?"

He glanced at the clock. "11:35." She nodded and then bolted up.

"11:35! Cloud the bar was supposed to open at 11:00." She got up stretching rushed down the stairs to the bar area, and unlocked the front door.

"I was getting worried there, didn't think you were opening up today babe," Reno said walking in as she turned the sign to say open. She looked at him as Cloud walked into bar's kitchen carrying Josh.

"Whoa! Cloud carrying a baby?" Tifa face palmed as Rude came in behind Reno.

"Reno, did I hear you correctly? You say Cloud's holding a baby?" Rude inquired, looking at Tifa.

"Yes we adopted a baby. Please, take a seat guys, it's a long story." She changed the sign back to say closed and locked the door again. "Cloud, get out here. We need to explain Josh to Reno and Rude."

"Cloud bring some beers over too. We got a thirst on here..." Reno called as Cloud walked out of the kitchen holding Josh.

Rude just shook his head while thinking, 'only Reno would want a beer at this time of the morning,' then called over, "I'll take a coffee if there's one going?"

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This chapter is for Kittie Darkhart. I was going to skip the topic of Cloud revealing to Tifa about him being the father, but thinking about it, I figured I would include it. I am trying hard not make this a serious story but it kinda wants to go that way.

I like to thank my wonderful Beta for her hard work in helping me develop this chapter, we will be working on the previous ones soon.


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